Super Random Crap Cartoons 2: Turbo Edition

Today marks the return of the most baffling area of my site, the random crap section! I have three - count them, three - new cartoons to show you, each one being more crappy than the last. Let's get this show on the road!

Kathryn Shepherd: Super Girl

This was a request from Kathryn, and her only specifications were that she had to be a super-hero and I had to mention her boobs. What I love most about this cartoon is that the entire audio track was done in one take and I refused to let myself script anything or do any retakes, so everything you hear - including the theme song and all the dialogue - is made up on the fly. It took about 20 minutes, hence the hilariously crude style. I particularly like how the ninjas appear to have stolen the world's biggest diamonds, and the only thing I could think they would do with them is buy hot dogs.

Nicole makes a Pizza

When I was showing Nicole my house in Bristol for the first time, she was looking at my tablet and casually asked how I make cartoons. Rather than tell her, I decided to demonstrate by giving her a starring role in her own (5 second long) cartoon. There isn't much to say about this one, although I hope you appreciate how I added a 'play' button as originally this just kept looping until it drove you insane.

Wheelchair Vampire Tribute

The reason I'm putting the animation under the text this time is that you will have no idea what the hell you are watching without a little backstory. In a nutshell, back in 2002 a guy called Paul Femiak started making an atrociously poor cartoon series called Illusions of Immortality, which is full of traced drawings, terrible animation and huge plot inconsistencies. The alternate, comedy title of Wheelchair Vampire comes from the way in which the series' protagonist runs - whenever he moves, he pushes his hands along as if riding a wheelchair, and we rarely see his legs. The concept of a wheelchair-bound vampire, coupled with the general awfulness and unintentional comedy present in the series, made it ripe for spoofing.

A brilliant account of the entire series, along with links to all the episodes, was made by Seppel over at Disaster Labs - go and check it out. As he accurately points out, if you only have time to watch one episode then make sure it's episode 5, as is this demonstrates best where the title 'Wheelchair Vampire' comes from.

I personally think episode 9 is the best/worst episode in the entire series, and it provides the basis for the spoof I made. Still, there are plenty of other episodes worth watching in the series - Death twirls his scythe in episode 8, and episode 11 is note-worthy for literally the worst voice-acting I have ever heard in any cartoon.

Ok everyone, I think you've had enough crap for one day. But don't worry, there'll be more!